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Episode 1592: Snarknado


Fictional vehicles always have a way to go faster, even when they are maxing out the engines. Scottish engineers, roguish space smugglers, suave contemporary spies, and all sorts of other characters are capable of squeezing 120% performance out of any mechanical device they encounter. It's not even limited to technology either. A druid, horse whisperer, or slave chariot driver will just as surely be able to encourage a beast of burden to hitherto unseen levels of speed and endurance.

The only prerequisite is that the character in question be a PC with a quick-minded player.

[Reminder: Our guest commentators have not seen Rogue One. Part of the fun is seeing how their untainted impressions re-interpret the movie through the lens of our comic.]

Ramming speed! Full speed ahead! Charge that pebble!

The punchline here had me laughing. Sally was worried about the pebble.

Now, hyperdrive in an atmosphere? If you're worried about a pebble, what about all the dust in the air? What about the very large density of oxygen, nitrogen, etc.?

With that much rubble and debris in the air, the chance of success must be really unlikely. So highly unlikely that, as Elan would say, success is a sure thing. (3 to 1 says that DMM supplies the link to the appropriate OoTS strip here for me.)

Just remember: no matter how fast you're going, players will want to go faster. The only way to stop them is by having limits on your acceleration. And hyperspace gets around that.

— Keybounce

Oh look, it's Cassian, being helpful as always.

I just want to clarify: I want to like his character. Mainly because I like Annie. But he's just so... not helpful. It's hard. When he does something truly helpful, I will be truly happy.

Moving on to more important matters...

Star Wars ships don't have a deflector-dish equivalent? In Star Trek, warp-capable ships have deflector dishes that move would-be disruptive particles out of the way of the ship. They can also do basically anything else you want them to. Presumably then, if a Star Wars ship was using its hyperdrive and some bit of space dust or very small asteroid happened to randomly be there, everyone would die?

This really seems like quite the oversight, not to mention a serious disregard to basic safety considerations.

But who am I kidding? No one in the Star Wars universe even knows what a safety consideration is.

— aurilee


Cassian: K! Get us out of here!
K-2SO: Right, I'll keep doing that, then. Any other helpful suggestions?
[SFX]: rumble...
Chirrut: Get us out of here faster?
K-2SO: Faster than full engine speed?
Cassian: What about faster than light?
Chirrut: The hyperdrive? Are you suicidal? If the ship hits a pebble while accelerating into hyperspace it will be completely vaporised!
[SFX]: rumble...
K-2SO: Never mind the pebble, what about the ship?
[SFX]: rumble...

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Published: Tuesday, 26 December, 2017; 02:11:02 PST.
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