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Episode 1633: Blowing Off Steam

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This guy's canonical name is Vaneé, which we discussed at some length while writing this strip. If naming conventions can be believed, it indicates that he's from Naboo. And that his parents really, really wanted a girl.

[Reminder: Our guest commentators have not seen Rogue One. Part of the fun is seeing how their untainted impressions re-interpret the movie through the lens of our comic.]

Oh that's a good pun. Quite stealthy. I like a good sneak-up-behind-you pun. Bravo.

So Toprawa wasn't naturally a water planet? It was a regular planet that had lots of water added to it? Some sort of aquaforming? That's interesting.

What's also interesting is the flying whales. I guess they're the result of interbreeding between standard whales and space whales? Unless the "flying" bit is a reference to them actually just being flung up into the atmosphere when the water was drained, and the gravity on the world is low enough that it's taking them a really long time to come down.

That would also mean that the facility Vader and her minion are in right now is generating an artificial gravity field. Which isn't really that interesting, but worth noting. Especially since it has good practical joke/tactical implications.

— aurilee

So what nuisances would the water have gone to?

The comment of "Toprawa" is interesting. It's already an ocean planet, with no native beaches; why would they need to send more water there?

For that matter, where did the lava on this planet come from? You had water all the way to the core, so it did not have a molten core (and how does that work anyways?).

The latest research that I've seen/heard about regarding the state of the Earth after the impact that ejected the Moon indicated that not all of the surface would have been molten. There would have been some cool pockets, some places where water remained (hot water yes, but still liquid water) that would have prevented the sterilization of the planet/killing off of one tree of life. By that thinking, there should still be some occasional water spots on the planet (and besides, unless they did something to get rid of all the water vapor, all that steam has to condense at some point, right?).

Still, if they did not get rid of all of the water - if there was any rain at all, then when the rainwater hits the lava it will cool to obsidian - sorry, wrong game.

(What is the real-life product of hitting a lava flow with a garden hose? I've seen videos of people trying to stop a slow-moving lava flow with hose water.)

— Keybounce

Transcript

Vaneé: It's Commander Krennic. He looks grovelly, but he's trying hard not to. How shall I dispose of him?
Darth Vader: I'll see to him myself.
Vaneé: Shall I prepare the acid bath?
{beat}
Darth Vader: We're on a lava planet.
Vaneé: Shame about the whales.
Darth Vader: They're still flying. Some of them.
Vaneé: They'll need to land soon. Lava is less forgiving than ocean.
Darth Vader: The water went to good causes.
Vaneé: Disposing of nuisances, Toprawa, and your bath.
Vaneé: Shall I drain the bath, dry you, and dress you?
Darth Vader: No, leave me.
Vaneé: Suit yourself.


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Published: Sunday, 01 April, 2018; 03:11:02 PDT.
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