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Episode 2299: Valkyrie Eleison


Lopping people's heads off is a classic medieval/Dark Ages style of demise, used in stories such as Game of Thrones, as well as actual history. Dungeons & Dragons even has the vorpal sword, taken from Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky, a magical weapon with the special power of cutting defenders' heads off.

You can of course apply it to fantasy or science fiction. The interesting thing about these genres is that losing your head need not be fatal. So consider it for a bit of light entertainment or comedy relief.

Commentary by memnarch (who has not seen the movie)

Wow, yeah. Definitely looking like a reverse movie now. That's not a thermal exhaust port, but the missiles totally have that vibe to them. And this is only like scene number 6 or 7! Poor Tallie, hardly got a chance to do anything. Poor Ben, always having bad luck with minor characters. And poor Resistance, getting the stuffing constantly kicked out of them this movie. BB-8's going to be fine at the very least, even with the missing head. I'm pretty sure Disney wouldn't get rid of them that quickly, and it's gotta be magnetically connected or something just to have a spherical body right?

I have to say though, my very first thought after seeing this comic page was "And Episode IX is somehow worse? There's been no plot so far, just constant defeats!" But then I remembered Episode V's plot, or rather the kind of lack of it. There wasn't a ton there either by this point comic-number-wise, and the Rebellion was also defeated and pushed to running away. And now I'm not sure if I've got a fair picture of this movie, or if nostalgia is heavily coloring my memories of Episode V to make that seem better. Really, I think the only major difference after being a space battle instead of on the ground is that the movie's splitting its attention between the Resistance and Rey. Ep V had all of the Team Good Guy action happening in the same area, even the battle portion. Hmmmmm. That's probably why it feels worse here. There isn't the feeling of a break in tension for that half of the movie, and getting the story slowly with that feeling is prolonging it as well.


[SFX]: klik {Kylo presses a button}
Kylo Ren: I launch missiles at the hangar! 15!
[SFX]: Whoosh! Whoosh!
GM: <roll>... Tallie, BB-8, Allan: save versus explosion.
Tallie: 3.
[SFX]: Boom!
BB-8: 14.
Allan: 18!
GM: Ow. Tallie’s A-wing is consumed by the fireball. Allan and BB-8 are blown clear, back into the corridor.
[SFX]: Ka-boom!!
Tallie: {exploding} I guess Tallie’s a hero like Paige now.
[SFX]: fliiing!
Rey: Paige is feasting in the Valhalla of Those Who Sacrificed Themselves to Destroy a Dreadnought. Tallie will be lucky to be serving the drinks.
GM: <roll>... BB-8’s head flies off his body.
[SFX]: clang
Allan: Does my head fly off?!
GM: ... No.
Allan: Aww...
Rey: ... If she doesn’t get blown up on the way from the kitchen.

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Published: Sunday, 23 April, 2023; 02:11:03 PDT.
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