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Episode 620: Step 3: Profit!


It's important to have an appropriate setting for the big fight scenes in your games. The top of a speeding train. A rickety rope bridge over an incredibly deep gorge with a crocodile infested river below. The enormous arch-villain's lair inside an extinct volcano, complete with piranha pit. (About the only thing that could make that one better is to use an active volcano, really.)

Make heavy use of cliffs, complicated whirring bits of machinery that can hack limbs off, molten metal, falling boulders, and sharp pointy things. And things that can be electrified. And acid. And boiling oil. And boiling acid. And rickety gantries that span lakes of boiling acid. And tigers.

Actually, anywhere you have a fight planned - or even wherever a fight that you didn't have planned breaks out - just add some tigers. It'll be awesome.

Player 1: Hey, remember that fight where those tigers showed up?
Player 2: Yeah, that was awesome!
Player 3: Wait, which fight where tigers showed up?


Anakin: Don't you mock me. Caring for someone made me strong.
Obi-Wan: Au contraire.
[SFX]: wmmm...
{flashback to Anakin fighting Count Dookû}
Count Dookû: Your feelings for Senator Amidala 'ave made you weak.
Anakin: Don't you threaten her!
{end flashback}
[SFX]: Krack! {the structure Anakin and Obi-Wan are standing on breaks and falls into the lava}
Obi-Wan: Attachment is something your enemies can use against you.
Anakin: Detachment means nobody will take your side.
Obi-Wan: Nobody's going to take your side now.
Anakin: So, here's the new plan. I'm telling you because the first step is: kill you.
[SFX]: Splash!
Anakin: Then I can revive Padmé. Blame everything on you. Rule the Galaxy.
[SFX]: wmmm...
R2-D2: Everyone wins!

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Published: Thursday, 08 September, 2011; 03:11:01 PDT.
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