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Episode 41: Situation Modifier


Sometimes you really have to wonder what would happen if people acted in real life the way they play their game characters' interactions with NPCs. Non-player characters routinely get abused, called names, ordered around, spoken about in front of them as though they don't exist, and treated extremely rudely. Not only lower class grunts either. It happens to anyone and everyone right up to the level of planetary rulers. And they never seem to be upset by it.

If "NPC" was a job you could get in the real world, it would surely rank lower than waiting tables, flipping burgers, or working in a telemarketing call centre. Much lower.

I think that'd be a cool comeback for when someone does something rude to you, like cut you off in traffic or something. Just yell at them, "Hey, I'm not an NPC, you know!"


Sio Bibble: Thank you for joining our fight for freedom. The first step is to—
Qui-Gon: Have you seen the Lost Orb of Phantasmagoria anywhere?
Sio Bibble: We have some intelligence about that, which we'd be happy to share once you've earned our trust.
Qui-Gon: Right... He's going to betray us the first chance he gets.
Sio Bibble: The first stage of this campaign should be to infiltrate—
Qui-Gon: I cast Suggestion. Look here, Goatee-boy, where's the Orb?
GM: That would be a -5 Impertinence penalty. And if this fails—
Qui-Gon: 20! My dice are hot!
{silent panel, Bibble looking bamboozled}
Sio Bibble: Coruscant. Senator Palpatine on Coruscant has information about it.
Qui-Gon: Can we get transports?
Panaka: Yes, this way.
Obi-Wan: We're messing up the GM's plans again. He probably had this whole city mapped out.
GM: No, you guys have been great for my improvisation. I've learnt not to plan ahead more than ten minutes.

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Published: Sunday, 02 January, 2011; 14:36:51 PST.
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