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Episode 30: Unarmed and Delicious


Seasoned roleplayers simply don't show any fear when confronted with giant monsters and other dangerous things that should cause any real person to quake in their boots. As a game master, it can be difficult to generate a suitable atmosphere of tension during situations like this.

But then some player can make an innocent out-of-context comment that will cause everyone to react in genuine alarm. Yeah. We're not prepared to go quite that far with Jar Jar.


Obi-Wan: We set off through the centre of the planet.
Jar Jar: Ooh, mesa make sure mesa go to the toilet first!
GM: You guide the bongo through deep, dark underwater caves.
GM: Suddenly... you feel a shudder! A giant fish is trying to eat the ship!
Qui-Gon: Is it a tuna?
Obi-Wan: I gun the propeller, hoping to rip its mouth to shreds.
GM: Uh... the propeller isn't powerful enough.
Qui-Gon: We fire the rear weapons!
GM: There are no rear weapons.
Qui-Gon: Turn around and fire the main weapons!
GM: Actually... there are no weapons at all.
Jar Jar: Theesa big fishes eats bongos alla time!
Obi-Wan: I use my Force Suggestion. "Go Away!"
GM: You can't, you're just a Padawan.
Obi-Wan: ... "Padawan"?
Qui-Gon: A woven rug.
GM: A Padawan is a Jedi apprentice. You're training under Qui-Gon's supervision.
Jar Jar: Can mesa be a Jedi too?
GM: No!
Obi-Wan: No!

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Published: Sunday, 02 January, 2011; 14:36:51 PST.
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