Chocolates & Chumps


Candy 50: Gumming Up the Works

Candy 50: Rock and Reroll

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Ah, there is no greater joy than seeing players eagerly fawning over the piles of treasure they've just liberated from the orc's lair or the evil dragon, watching them fight over who gets to lay claim to the bejewelled, glowing sword that radiates a palpable aura of magic...

... and then when they try using it in combat revealing that it's cursed.

Good times. Good times.

In the real world of the Chocolates & Chumps universe, of course, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory doesn't exist. That's the premise of this entire comic, after all. But most of the other things we know and love (such as everlasting gobstoppers) do, albeit modified by the lack of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:


Willy Wonka: Anyone know what this is?
Charlie Bucket: Treasure?
Willy Wonka: Nope. It's gum.
Violet Beauregarde: Gum? Cool!
Willy Wonka: Not just any old gum either. Special gum.
Augustus Gloop: {dead} We traded golden tickets for gum?
Charlie Bucket: Look who's talking, Mr "I stick my head in the chocolate riverwithout testing it first".
Mike Teevee: When's your new character going to be ready anyway?
Augustus Gloop: {dead} Another week.
Violet Beauregarde: I take the magic gum!
Willy Wonka: Wait, no!
Violet Beauregarde: Oooh! It tastes like tomato soup!
Charlie Bucket: Hmmm. Giant Strength? Haste?
Violet Beauregarde: Now roast beef! With gravy!
Charlie Bucket: Definitely Giant Strength.
Violet Beauregarde: Now blueberry pie! Wait, what's happening?
Mike Teevee: Whoa. Do we have any poison antidotes?
Grandpa Joe: I told you, don't touch anything in this factory.
Grandpa Joe: Two down in two rooms. The Tomb of Horrors was a cakewalk compared to this.

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Last updated: Thursday, 01 November, 2012; 02:19:08 PDT.
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