Sandals & Spartans

Archive/Translations   Forum   Cast   RSS   FAQ

Spartan 50: The Noodle Incident

Spartan 50: The Noodle Incident

<<First     <Previous

There's one iron-clad rule of pseudo-historical action roleplaying. You do not kill the messenger. By "iron-clad", we mean of course that everybody and his dog breaks it - but only with dire consequences.

So sending in a messenger is almost guaranteed to be a good way to get your players arguing, leading inevitably to the aforementioned dire consequences, which you can then honestly blame on the actions of the PCs and not on any deception or foul tactics on your part.*

* In the sense that you did actually use deception and foul tactics, of course.

In the real world of the Sandals & Spartans universe, of course, the 300 movie doesn't exist. That's the premise of this entire comic, after all. But most of the other things we know and love (such as testosterone-overloaded battle scenes) do, albeit modified by the lack of 300:

Vision-Impaired Transcript

Stelios: Oh, we are in so much trouble.
King Leonidas: It's just a misunderstanding.
Stelios: You killed their messenger!
King Leonidas: He was an assassin! The spaghetti was poisoned.
Stelios: I don't think the Persians had spaghetti.
King Leonidas: IT. WAS. PASTA!
Captain Artemis: Relax. With my battle plan and terrain advantage, 300 level 1 fighters is enough to hold off an indefinite number of minions.
King Leonidas: I'll talk to Circus again.
GM: Xerxes.
King Leonidas: He should see reason when I explain to him what happened.
King Leonidas: I'm a skilled diplomat!
Captain Artemis: According to my calculations, we'll take 299 casualties. The remaining fighter will have levelled up enough times to be practically invincible.
King Leonidas: Hey, I already talked him into letting us fight in the shade!

Sandals & Spartans | Other sites: Irregular Webcomic! | mezzacotta
Last updated: Monday, 14 December, 2009; 16:23:09 PST.
Copyright © 2007-2009, The Comic Irregulars.
Hosted by: DreamHost